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  Fear and Loathing in the Paris Working
Weirdness Posted by Xnoubis on August 06, 2000 @ 12:27 PM
from the duke-of-edom dept.

We were somewhere around the Mass of the Phoenix in the public ritual when the drugs began to take hold. Suddenly, the room filled with flying phalluses bearing wings and fangs and screeching horribly.


We had arrived in Paris with a trunk stuffed full of opium, laudanum, cocaine, Anhalonium lewinii, and six bottles of Italian absinthe so vile it was usually reserved for the Pope when he was in a mood to deflower novitiate nuns.

L.T. wrapped his malformed arm around my waist and, his bleary eyes moist with concern, said, "As your catamite, I advise you to have a drink."

In a flash, the horror of the preceding weeks came back to me. Appalling! Endless days of opiates, ceremonial magick, and buggery. What were we doing here?

As I looked around the room, the once loyal disciples of my teaching began to change form. Snouts pushed out from their faces, their skins turned varying shades of scaly green, and then, most horrifying of all, they shuffled back and forth making snorting sounds in imitation of human speech.

I needed to get a grip on myself. I was still unnerved from earlier in the day, when I caught L.T., a 98-pound effeminate English poet, soaking in the bath. This is never an easy experience under any circumstances, but I could see from the glaze in his eyes that he'd been abusing the absinthe again.

"O.S.V., I can't take it any more!" It seemed that his nerves as well as his podex were on the brink of collapse. He held out a volume of the Equinox. "Read it to me!" Oh God no. "Read me 'Rose Ignota,' and I'll set the bath on fire at the last stanza! It's the only fitting way for me to go," he sobbed.

Pathetic and revolting. I was just about to explain that even water that he's been soaking his greasy body in (for the three hours it would take for me to read his insufferable lyric poem back to him) was unlikely to ignite, when he fell into a trance and began speaking in the voice of Hermes.

Finally, a real magical result! I hurried to the other room to grap a pen and paper. When I returned, he was continuing.

". . . if you stop working so constantly at becoming spiritual celebrities, you might possibly learn a little about how to actually pass along some of your knowledge."

"Wait!" I said. "I didn't get all of that! Start over now that I'm recording what you're saying."

L.T., or maybe it was Hermes, glared for a moment. "Very well then. To make offerings to the gods, find a virgin, quarter her, and saute her in a rosemary vinagrette."

I started writing it down, "Okay, now I'm following you. You lost me for a minute there . . ."

I snapped out of my reverie. The Mass of the Phoenix was over. I knew what I had to do.

"Who amongst ye, O Children of the Light, can substantially contribute from their worldly possessions to the furtherance of the Great Work?" I bellowed in my most officious voice.

A nervous, shaking acolyte came up and handed me a check for five hundred pounds. I snatched it out of his hand, belted down my laudanum, and strode out the door, a Magus on a mission for more cocaine. "Jupiter's blessings on all you swine!" I yelled, chuckling at the Universal Joke.



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    Re: Fear and Loathing in the Paris Working
    by Frater Kneph (a.k.a. Sahajananda-Das, Ekagratanath, née Belarion II) on Sunday August 06, @01:53PM
    I am afraid Xnoubis only proves by this effort that he is a poor parodist or a sour satirist, for this take-off on the Paris Working tediously rehashes old myths about that operation even as it caters to cowans who dis Old Crow for either his homosexuality, his drug-induced madness, or his inability to harness his *kleshas.* Had the author bothered to read the hagiography more for its literary devices and stylistic technique, perhaps he might have captured the precise prickly prose of the Master Therion. Had he considered *Book of Lies,* he might have invented some paradoxes, Zen koans, and Yi oracle allusions. And had he reconsidered *The Book of Thoth* in relation to the Paris Working, he might have tossed out clever Tarot insights. Lastly, the writer might take another look at the diaries, and in particular, *Rex de Arte Regia,* and come upon the sublime truth about the operation. --Kneph

    • Re: Fear and Loathing in the Paris Working
      by Frater 2-Many-Cartoon-Names is a Fuddy Duddy on Sunday August 06, @04:05PM
      What's the problem? Crowley was a blithering idiot of a drug-addict as well as a raving homosexual. Isn't that marvelous?!

      I suppose you wouldn't dare giggle at the T-shirt that portrays Jesus diving for a volleyball with the caption "Jesus Saves." Of course not. It's neither interesting nor nearly very funny because the designer failed to use any biblical references of note. Bollocks.

      Xnoubis may be one or the other of those "witty alliterations," but at least there wasn't any sort of pretention of note.


      • Re: Fear and Loathing in the Paris Working
        by Frater Kneph (a.k.a. Sahajananda-Das, Ekagratanath, née Belarion II) on Saturday August 12, @10:58AM
        Aha!, but you see, Jesus doesn't save. Nagarjuna does.


        • Re: Fear and Loathing in the Paris Working
          by Mordecai Shapiro on Saturday August 12, @01:11PM
          Would you laugh at a T-shirt that shows Nagarjuna jumping up right at the net and slamming the volleyball into the opposite side, with the caption "Nagarjuna kills!"?


          • Re: Fear and Loathing in the Paris Working
            by Damian Spendel on Thursday December 07, @04:29AM
            More appropriately, NAgarjuna taking a ball out of a soccer net. The caption? "Nagarjuna empties".

            I liked it, Paris works, amusing...which was surely the intention.


      • Re: Fear and Loathing in the Paris Working
        by Tony Davis on Wednesday August 16, @11:46PM
        Dude, don't worry about Kneph... he'll be seeing the bats soon enough. Poor bastard.

        t.


    • Re: Fear and Loathing in the Paris Working
      by Mordecai Shapiro on Monday August 07, @01:02AM
      I guess I'm not getting your point. Was Crowley's practice of anal intercourse, or his use of recreational drugs, not well documented in his diaries? or is it just irrelevant to something or other? or are you exactly the sort of prig/prude he warned us about in his poem "The Disciples"? Whatever, you should amplify your comment, because it isn't very understandable as is.


    • Re: Fear and Loathing in the Paris Working
      by Xnoubis on Monday August 07, @09:18AM
      Kneph,

      Since part of my intention was to dispell the widely-held notion that Thelemites lack a sense of humor, I have to admit, in the light of your comment, that I have not succeeded.


      • Re: Fear and Loathing in the Paris Working
        by Diancecht on Monday August 07, @10:18AM
        Hollywock! That was the most hilarious, witty and well written piece I've read in weeks. I was hoping for an extended ending.


    • Re: Fear and Loathing in the Paris Working
      by Zen Wa Foo on Friday November 10, @09:42AM
      Do What Thou Wilt Shall be the Whole of the Law.

      Brother Xnoubis, thank you for a brilliant and delightful parody.

      perhaps he might have captured the precise prickly prose of the Master Therion.

      Senor Kneph, perhaps some of us could use a little light reading. It is well-known in the literature of mysticism that prolonged, excessive periods of unremitting spiritual discipline can often lead to a state of "dryness," which is characterized by a crabbed, humorless outlook on life, accompanied by an almost fanatical intolerance for any displays of levity towards one's personal spiritual wisdom-figures. It is unfortunately most often the case that this "dryness" is itself an indication that the fanatical would-be aspirant has not met with success in his or her chosen practices.

      Do I even need to say this? Very Honored, Very Illustrious, and Very Illuminated Brother Xnoubis was not making the slightest attempt to parody, or even imitate, the style of the Master Therion -- or even Aleister Crowley, for that matter. No, rather, this little gem of prose was a dead-on, almost word-for-word parody of the Great Doctor Hunter S. Thompson's Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

      In another time and place, this is what would be known as a "literary tour de force."

      Love is the Law, Love Under Will,

      Bankie. <{: )}>


    Re: Fear and Loathing in the Paris Working
    by Joe Eckert on Monday August 14, @03:36PM
    I think it is pretty darn funny myself. I guess it is due to me being a Thelemite, not a Crowleyite. Hey, he was not perfect, in fact, in my opinion he, at times, acted like a complete asshole. Especially when it came to women and disciples.
    We should be able to poke some fun at ol' Uncle Al. Think for a second, if a guy like that can reach such spiritual heights, heck, with determination we all could. Yeah, Crowley liked sex, drugs, ect. So do I. So do a alot of you reading this. Uncle Al is inspirational because it shows that you don't have to be perfect to realise your divinity.

    • Re: Fear and Loathing in the Paris Working
      by Joe Eckert on Monday August 14, @03:56PM
      Just to make myself clear, as I mentally envision you in cyberspace laughing and cracking your knuckles waiting to tear me to shreads. By my comment I most emphatically DID NOT mean that there is anything wrong with sex of any form and/or recreational drugs.
      In fact, I recommend both highly.


    Re: Fear and Loathing in the Paris Working
    by Marfiza on Monday October 15, @12:26PM
    Oh! Woe to me who have to read this thing!

    ;)

          - M

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