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  Liber Santa
Weirdness Posted by Xnoubis & Eric on December 25, 2000 @ 01:04 PM
from the dreaming-of-a-rite-christmas dept.

[Being the Evocation of Santa Claus to Visible Appearance.]


The Circle is formed from red Christmas lights. At its perimeter is written: "Pa-Rum-Pum-Pum Pum," "Noel," "In Dulce Jubilo," or other mighty formulae of Art. The Triangle (of white Christmas lights) is placed north of the central Altar within the Circle, with holly and the words "Ni," "Cho," and "Las" at the three points. Within the Triangle is a small Table of Offerings containing at least: a child's letter to Santa, a glass of milk, and a cookie (the type of which may vary according to local tradition). Red candles to taste, and any other wreaths, pine garlands, strings of popcorn, ornaments, etc., as seems appropriate.

The Magus is dressed in Victorian sleepwear and nightcap, and armed with the Candy Cane Wand. And in this work he may also employ the use of an Elf, provided that the Elf is of right cheery disposition, and no more than four feet in height.

The Magus switches on Christmas lights, lights candles, etc. He stands in the center of the Circle, turns South, assumes the Sign of Silence and sharply draws his breath.

Magus: You better watch out!

The Magus then moves to the perimeter of the circle, making the sign of the Wreath in each of the eight stations:

North: On Dasher!
Northeast: On Dancer!
East: On Prancer!
Southeast: On Vixen!
South: On Comet!
Southwest: On Cupid!
West: On Donder!
Northwest: On Blitzen!

He returns to the center, pausing in silent acknowledgment of the Rudolph within, and sensing the elevation of the Holy Sleigh.

The purification is performed using mistletoe as the Aspergill. If an Elf is used, the Magus first purifies the Elf, and then the Elf purifies the Temple.

The Conjuration

O thou jolly old man, who dost disperse gifts of joy exceeding to little girls and boys of good will, thou of the great round belly, come unto us from thine abode at the North Pole, and make us partakers of thine holiday effulgence. Santa Claus! Kris Kringle! Old Saint Nick! Father Christmas! Come, we call thee, come!

The Great Exhortation

O thou of the bright red suit, trimmed with snowy white fur! Thou of the rosy cheeks and round button nose! Thou who travellest round the world on Christmas day on thy magical Sleigh! Thou of the eight tiny Reindeer! We call thee, we praise thee, we offer up our stockings to receive thy beneficence! O Santa, we have been good! Come, o come, we beseech thee, that our days be merry and bright, and that all our Christmases be white!

And by this time shall Santa assuredly begin to manifest within the Triangle, even if only by a sweet smell of nutmeg and spices. But if he does not, the Magus shall then proceed to the Abjuration.

The Abjuration

Santa, I hearby compel thee into this Triangle of Art, by the power of the Candy Cane Wand and the Sacred Names: By Frosty! By Heat Miser! By Cold Miser! By the Star upon the Tree, come! Appear! Make thyself visible unto us, lest Jack Frost come nipping at thy nose, and thy chestnuts be roasted upon an open fire!

Upon the completion of the Abjuration, Santa shall certainly begin to manifest. Yet if he show any hesitation, let the Magus have the Curse at the ready.

The Curse

O thou most recalcitrant and froward Santa, lest thou answer my calling, let thy North Pole be blasted, thine Elves fall away, and thy workshop become a dwelling-place for the beasts of the Arctic. Thine own stocking shalt be filled with coal forever more, and all Christmas be handed over to the dark ministrations of the Grinch. Bah! Humbug!

At the utterance of the first few words of the Curse shall Santa begin to appear, beyond all doubt. The Curse need never be spoken to completion.

Once the manifestation begins, the Magus (and such others that may be present) sing the Hymn of Greeting: "Here Comes Santa Claus," etc., and then chant "Ho Ho Ho" in short, deep syllables with growing intensity, until Santa achieves full solidity.

The Greeting

Hail, O Hail, Santa Claus, and peace! We welcome thee into our Circle of Art in the name of the Spirit of Christmas.

Then such questions and petitions as are appropriate to Santa's nature may be proposed. At the very least, each participant may ask of Santa a toy or tasty treat. At the conclusion of the matter shall the Magus say:

The Dismissal

Very well, Santa, because thou hast come at our request and answered our petitions, thou mayest return to the North Pole with our blessings, and with the Christmas hopes of all little boys and girls forever.

Then shall Santa begin to dissolve with the sound of jingle bells.

All Present: And we heard him exclaim as he rode out of sight:

Santa: Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!



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  • The Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them.


    Re: Liber Santa
    by JESSICA on Friday December 29, @02:38AM
    EVER FIND IT STRANGE THAT SANTA COMES FROM THE NORTH?
    BEING A HOLIDAY TURNED SO MATERIALISTIC....

    Re: Liber Santa
    by El Nigma on Wednesday January 03, @12:28PM
    I've gone better than this. I've had astral sex magick with Santa. Ho ho HO!!

    • Re: Liber Santa
      by Xnoubis on Wednesday January 03, @12:33PM
      Details! We want details!


      • Re: Liber Santa
        by El Nigma on Thursday January 04, @06:49PM
        Sorry thats a degree secret.


        • Re: Liber Santa
          by El Nigma on Sunday January 07, @11:28AM
          BTW, its the Elves and not Santa that like to "ride" the Reindeer. Twisted blokes, those elves.


    Re: Liber Santa
    by Uskorpius 777 on Tuesday January 23, @02:40PM
    Possibly the best satire of an invocation I have ever read! HaHaHa.
    Uskorpius 777

    Re: Liber Santa
    by aZAG on Tuesday March 27, @12:19AM
    Im gonna pee my pajamas...

    The Fine Print: The following comments are owned by whoever posted them.


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