The Black Stone

The Reproaches of God

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THE BLACK STONE

I have kissed the Black Stone of the Ka'abah,1) O Habib! but a thousand times the black mole upon thy buttocks. I have seen a thousand men kiss the black stone of the Ka'abah; but I hear that the pilgrims to thy house are even more numerous than the Hujjaj.2)

Omar3) was an ass; but he is buried – Allah curse him! – at El Medinah; only those with members like an ass find any permanent resting place in the mosque.

His4) member is firmer than a rock, sayest thou? But I will bottle and drown him.5)

It is disgraceful, Habib, that thou lettest that lousy little tailor into thy secret beauties; but I suppose thou needest his needle and thread to repair the rents made by thy boasted Qazi.

Often have I sung thy podex as the sun, and of a surety he shineth upon all.

Thy gait is the gait of a gravid sow; thou admittest every hog in Iran to thy sty; beware, sayeth El Qahar, lest thou bring forth a litter of pigs!6)


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1)
Ka'abah – the Holy Place at Mecca. See Burton's Pilgrimage for a long description of this and of the Black Stone.
2)
Hujjaj – plural of Haji, a pligrim to Mecca.
3)
Omar – See Burton's Pilgrimage for facts about this caliph, highly honoured by the orthodox Muslim, but detested by the 'Arami' (Persians) who ever seek to defile his tomb, often risking their lives in the attempt. Frequent is the pun between Omar and Hhumar “ass”. They are spelt nearly alike [Arabic] and [Arabic] and Persian pronunciation always slurs the difference between “ma'ajub” and “ma'aruf” o and u.
4)
Whose? Presumably the Nubian's; but the text is ambiguous.
5)
A pun. [Arabic] means both “rock” and a jinn who offended King Solomon. The latter (as usual) imprisoned him in a brass globe and threw him into the sea.
6)
All this is so much the more insulting as the woman and the pig are such unclean beasts. See Frazer “Adonis, Attis, Osiris” Book I. Cap. IV p. 36 in reference to a shrine of Hercules at Gades (Cadiz) an early Tyrian colony. “Neither women nor pigs might pollute the holy Place by their presence”. So that we need not attribute the Mohammedan viewpoint to the Inspiration of Allah; others had noticed it before.


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