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How to Host a Gay Man's Play Party

  • Basics of hospitality
    • “Pleasantest of all ties is the tie of host and guest.”—The Libation Bearers, Aeschylus
    • What every party should have
      • Clean
      • Designated smoking area
      • Rules posted
        • No means no
        • No drunks
        • Don’t interrupt someone else’s scene
        • No pictures or video
      • Plenty of toilet paper IN THE BATHROOM
      • A “no sex” room for people to escape to
      • Finger Food
      • No children
      • Music/Entertainment
        • iPod or DJ
        • Games to get things going:
          • Pin the penis on the man
          • Suck and blow
          • Clove and fruit
  • Size?
    • Residential
      • Large — 25 people per public room
      • Medium — 18 people per public room
      • Small - 12 people per public room
      • Note: Not everyone will come at the same time, unless you have a door locks time set. Decrease in size if you do so.
    • Commercial
      • Capacity dictated by Law.
      • No illegal activities permitted
      • Ask to close bar or limit to beer and wine
  • Host vs. participant
    • Small — Medium: you can play; you may even be a catalyst. If catalyst, be prepared to act early and often.
    • Medium-Large: you need monitors, you are best, but responsible volunteers are good too
  • Guest list
    • All known to you or one of you’re a-list friends
    • Blend of experienced and new and enthusiastic
    • Cover charge? I do not recommend itÉ opens you up to vice charges
  • Theme?
    • Drag/girls night
      • Karaoke
      • Watch episodes of RuPaul’s Drag Race or Queer Eye
      • Open bar/byob
    • Sex Toy Parties
      • Be sure it is not to be delivered, but onsite to encourage use after
    • Dinner Parties
      • Velvet Mafia
        • Old queens in Jax
        • Fancy dinner party
        • Served by young hotties who are available for “dessert”
        • Look to friends and/or models (catering gig followed by orgy)
      • Guess who?
        • Remote control vibrating toys
        • Must guess who has your remote by end of evening
      • Agape dinner
        • Can only feed others
        • Lounging decadence
    • Costume
      • 15th century: It’s good to be the king
        • Peasants and Nobles
      • Daniel Nardicio-esque
        • Underwear only
        • Jackoff competition
      • Eyes Wide Shut
        • Masked
        • Sacred sexuality
    • Babylon
      • Front room — Club Party
        • Dance club
        • Soap bubbles
        • King Competition
      • Back room — more versatile
        • Anonymous sex
        • “furniture”
          • bench
          • Golden apple
    • White Party
      • Circuit party
      • Now sometimes a fund raiser, which interferes with gratuitous sex
      • Men in White
      • Can be replicated on smaller scale in right home
    • Black party
      • Heavy and hedonistic
      • Leather and chain
      • Casual — no lasting entanglements, no regrets
      • Attendees are a top or a bottom, period.
    • S&M
      • Little or no alcohol
      • Private and public play space
      • Provide props
      • Furniture
      • Dungeon monitor
      • Many activities illegal in Massachusetts
      • Alcohol and drugs are frowned upon
      • Dangerous activities
      • Safe, Sane, Consensual
      • Risk Aware Consensual Kink (or Risk-Accepted)
    • Orgy
      • Condoms and lube
      • Spontaneous: Plants
      • Singles, booty calls, and poly make best guests
      • Encourage partners to discuss their boundaries before attending
      • No drunks
    • Gang Bang
      • Not spontaneous
      • More than willing volunteer
      • Dependable, respectful guests
      • Papers
      • Supplies
  • Parties I do not approve of:
    • Bareback parties: gloveless sex parties
    • Bug parties: bare and positive.
      • Beware bug chasers and gift givers
      • Hello?! It is a virus; do not make it stronger through interaction with its variant strains
    • PNP (Party and Play)
      • Crystal meth most common, cocaine, MDMA, ketamine
      • Research shows leads to barebacking, through rebellion or negligence
  • How to be a good guest:
    • Follow the rules
    • Don’t get too inebriated
    • Always greet you host
    • Always thank your host for a lovely time
    • Don’t bring drama with you
    • If you came as a couple, leave as a couple (or more)
    • Don’t bring people who don’t want to join in


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