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Selections from The Book of Lies


I was discussing oysters with a crony:
GOD sent to me the angels DIN and DONI.
"An man of spunk," they urged, "would hardly
To breakfast every day chez Laperouse."
"No!" I replied, "h would not do so, BUT
Think of his woe if Laperouse were shut!
"I eat these oysters and I drink this wine
Solely to drown this misery of mine.
"Yet the last height of consolation's cold:
Its pinnacle is-not to be consoled!
"And though I sleep with Janefore and Eleanor
"And Julian only fixes in my mind
Even before feels better than behind.
"You are Mercurial spirits-be so kind
As to enable me to raise the wind.
"Put me in LAYLAH'S arms again: the Accurst,
Leaving me that. elsehow may do his worst."
DONI and DIN, perceiving me inspired,
Conceived their task was finished: they retired.
I turned upon my friend, and, breaking bounds,
Borrowed a trifle of two hundred pounds.




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